Christmas Eve

Well, officially it's Christmas Eve. Everyone is tucked all snug into bed and I'm getting ready to do the same :)

I had a very busy/tiring day today. It's amazing how I've always taken for granted the energy it takes to do small things like take a shower and get myself ready to go. Well, actually, it's amazing how much in life I have taken for granted. I have never before so strongly desired to just scrub my house clean or cook myself a meal. I do greatly appreciate everything that everyone is and has done for me, but I am really looking forward to the day when I can do some of those things on my own as well. In the meantime boy, oh boy, am I ever getting a lesson on patience. *sigh*

Today I went to the Dr to have my post-op check-up and have the staples removed from my incision. I was really dreading getting out of the house period. It all just sounded so exhausting, but I was especially dreading the staple removing part. That incision was so large and yucky looking to me. It felt Frankenstein-ish!! And the mere thought of them removing those staples just gave me the hebe-jeebies!! Anyway, it wasn't so bad. Just the fear of the unknown I suppose. The dr. said that I am doing well and that I just have to be patient and keep all weight off of my left leg for the next month to allow myself to heal properly. Please pray that I will heal properly. I don't want to have this surgery again. I am sure everything will be fine though. I know that the good Lord has seen me this far and will continue to take care of me through the rest of this. I just have to learn to be patient. Dr's orders!!

We then went to Wal-Mart to pick up some groceries and I had the privilege of scooting myself around in one of those electric buggies. Not sure what I was thinking to do that two days before Christmas, but I'm just aching to do what I can for myself so something as simple as grocery shopping was really important for me to attempt at least. It was a madhouse of course, but with my Dad and sisters help we got'r done! At least now I have a meal planned for Christmas eve and something to make for breakfast Christmas morning. Well, it will be more like me directing my sisters to cook and stuff, but we have the food nonetheless, lol.

I got one of my sisters to bake some sugar cookies tonight and we then decorated them. That was fun and they had a really good time. I'll leave you with some pictures from that :)







And by the way, have a wonderful Christmas eve with your families!

Sleepless in Niceville

That almost makes me want to go watch the movie sleepless in Seattle. Almost. I fear that my body is so off schedule that it may never get back on. Praise the Lord that I don't have to get up early anytime soon. It's about 1 am here on the Gulf Coast. The house is so quiet and my sweet sisters and son are sleeping away. I've read, I've prayed and yet I still lie here wide awake.

It was such a blessing to awake this morning at 7am to hear knocking at my door and bustling outside my window. I didn't expect my family to get in until this afternoon, but they decided to drive all the way through. I was quite groggy and trying to figure out how to get out of bed, but thankfully Jarred heard all the ruckus and excitedly jumped out of bed and ran to open the door. (PTL for his youthful exuberance) I was still trying to orient myself when my sisters piled in my room to say hello. Then came in Daddy to great me and it just brought my heart such joy for him to wrap me in a big hug. What a lovely wake up call!!

Needless to say they were pretty tired so after breakfast and a little visiting Rachel and I laid down for a nap and Daddy headed out to my Uncles to try and get some rest. Jarred & Stephanie headed outside for a fun time of skateboarding and play.

Later on in the day Stephanie, who happens to have an endless supply of patience (or so it seems), helped Jarred put up the Christmas tree. Bless their hearts, they worked so hard on getting it up. Jarred broke several ornaments in the process and ended with breaking a limb almost completely off the tree. He was so upset with himself, but I just said "honey, I just want to see a happy smile on your face that the tree is finally up and you got to help." Again, it's so hard to reign in my OCD nature and not go and fix things or take over, but I am completely unable to do anything about it so I suppose that is teaching me a thing or two about just letting things be.

It's hard not to do for yourself you know! The pain that I have been in is beginning to subside, but I am still not able to do a whole lot because of having to keep all the weight off of my left side. I wonder what other lessons the Lord has for me in this???? Learning patience is surely at the top of that list, lol!

I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring. I'd like for us to have a day of maybe making a few crafts, baking some cookies, and playing some games. I really just want to take advantage of every second of family time that I am getting. It seems like such a sweet blessing to have my Dad and sisters drive all the way down here just to be with me. I miss my mom and her being here is the only thing that keeps this Christmas from being "complete."

I have lots of pictures to post, but I have a laptop that I don't want to crowd with lots of files so I have been hesitant about putting anything on here. I suppose I just need to get to it or I will never share them :)

Well, it's nearing 2am now. I'm slightly sleepy so I suppose I will try it again.

goodnight

A different Kind of Christmas

This Christmas finds me and my family in a much different place than any other Christmas in the past. If things were going along with "our" plans then I would be in Wisconsin at this very moment hanging out with my sisters and enjoying the comfort of being home. Instead, I am lying on the couch at home in Florida recovering from surgery to fix my broken hip. Not "my" plan obviously, but this Christmas God had/has a different plan for me.

For months now I have been in such severe pain and it got to the point that I actually lost my ability to walk without assistance from a cane. The biggest part of my battle was getting to a Dr. finding someone who would take me seriously and treat me. After much prayer and finally just asking God for a miracle, He came through. He immediately gave me a Dr. to see and upon the first visit to that Dr. I was made aware that I had actually been walking around with a broken hip. No, I have NO IDEA how that even happened. So I had to have an emergency surgery to stabilize my broken hip so that it can heal. But after it is all said and done I find myself with such a heart full of gratitude that the Lord allowed this to happen. I'm very thankful of course that I *will* be able to walk again. That this is just temporary. But even more, I am thankful that He gave me this infirmity to show me how to be more compassionate to others that are hurting. And that He has truly shown me that through my weakness He is made strong.

I have always been pretty independent. I didn't realize until I had that stripped from me that it was in the way of my living for God. When you are independent you end up making decisions and doing things on your own because that is just the way that you are used to doing it. Never even to stop and consult God on the little things. The bible says "In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths." Well, I knew that, but I had totally missed out on the blessing of actually doing it in all things. As it stands I can barely stand or walk on my own. I am on crutches for the next 6 weeks, so there is not a whole lot I can do myself. I have been almost completely dependent on others to help me. But in this I have learned to just stop and ask for help from God in the little things. Like taking a shower, giving myself a shot, making phone calls, or other things that I just need to work out. I have seen that worrying truly isn't going to get anything done at all. That I just have to commit it to God and allow Him to work it out.

I have learned that faith is not doing all that you can do and allowing God to do the rest, but allowing God to go before me and do it all. That's what He wants anyway, right? I have realized that I am not capable at all of making things work out. I don't even know what's best for me. But when I just give it all to God. WOW. He works things out better than I could ever even hope to. In this last week I have seen miracle after miracle in my life because I have let Him have control and just do what He does best. Take care of me. It is so hard to let go of the control that we think that we have over our lives, but God is there waiting for us to give it to Him and when we do, WOW, what amazing things wait beyond that.

So, this Christmas is quite a bit different than any other Christmas. I'm not focusing on decorations, cooking, shopping, or any of the other worldly trappings. This Christmas my focus is on CHRIST and His mighty works. I am so thankful that the Lord saw fit to clip my wings this Christmas and take me THROUGH this valley.

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice." Psalms 51:8

????

Do people still read this?

I haven't been so great about keeping up with my blog the past several months. Wondering if I should just close it down.

What do you think?