This Christmas finds me and my family in a much different place than any other Christmas in the past. If things were going along with "our" plans then I would be in Wisconsin at this very moment hanging out with my sisters and enjoying the comfort of being home. Instead, I am lying on the couch at home in Florida recovering from surgery to fix my broken hip. Not "my" plan obviously, but this Christmas God had/has a different plan for me.
For months now I have been in such severe pain and it got to the point that I actually lost my ability to walk without assistance from a cane. The biggest part of my battle was getting to a Dr. finding someone who would take me seriously and treat me. After much prayer and finally just asking God for a miracle, He came through. He immediately gave me a Dr. to see and upon the first visit to that Dr. I was made aware that I had actually been walking around with a broken hip. No, I have NO IDEA how that even happened. So I had to have an emergency surgery to stabilize my broken hip so that it can heal. But after it is all said and done I find myself with such a heart full of gratitude that the Lord allowed this to happen. I'm very thankful of course that I *will* be able to walk again. That this is just temporary. But even more, I am thankful that He gave me this infirmity to show me how to be more compassionate to others that are hurting. And that He has truly shown me that through my weakness He is made strong.
I have always been pretty independent. I didn't realize until I had that stripped from me that it was in the way of my living for God. When you are independent you end up making decisions and doing things on your own because that is just the way that you are used to doing it. Never even to stop and consult God on the little things. The bible says "In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths." Well, I knew that, but I had totally missed out on the blessing of actually doing it in all things. As it stands I can barely stand or walk on my own. I am on crutches for the next 6 weeks, so there is not a whole lot I can do myself. I have been almost completely dependent on others to help me. But in this I have learned to just stop and ask for help from God in the little things. Like taking a shower, giving myself a shot, making phone calls, or other things that I just need to work out. I have seen that worrying truly isn't going to get anything done at all. That I just have to commit it to God and allow Him to work it out.
I have learned that faith is not doing all that you can do and allowing God to do the rest, but allowing God to go before me and do it all. That's what He wants anyway, right? I have realized that I am not capable at all of making things work out. I don't even know what's best for me. But when I just give it all to God. WOW. He works things out better than I could ever even hope to. In this last week I have seen miracle after miracle in my life because I have let Him have control and just do what He does best. Take care of me. It is so hard to let go of the control that we think that we have over our lives, but God is there waiting for us to give it to Him and when we do, WOW, what amazing things wait beyond that.
So, this Christmas is quite a bit different than any other Christmas. I'm not focusing on decorations, cooking, shopping, or any of the other worldly trappings. This Christmas my focus is on CHRIST and His mighty works. I am so thankful that the Lord saw fit to clip my wings this Christmas and take me THROUGH this valley.
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
"Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice." Psalms 51:8
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Saturday, December 19, 2009
A different Kind of Christmas
This Christmas finds me and my family in a much different place than any other Christmas in the past. If things were going along with "our" plans then I would be in Wisconsin at this very moment hanging out with my sisters and enjoying the comfort of being home. Instead, I am lying on the couch at home in Florida recovering from surgery to fix my broken hip. Not "my" plan obviously, but this Christmas God had/has a different plan for me.
For months now I have been in such severe pain and it got to the point that I actually lost my ability to walk without assistance from a cane. The biggest part of my battle was getting to a Dr. finding someone who would take me seriously and treat me. After much prayer and finally just asking God for a miracle, He came through. He immediately gave me a Dr. to see and upon the first visit to that Dr. I was made aware that I had actually been walking around with a broken hip. No, I have NO IDEA how that even happened. So I had to have an emergency surgery to stabilize my broken hip so that it can heal. But after it is all said and done I find myself with such a heart full of gratitude that the Lord allowed this to happen. I'm very thankful of course that I *will* be able to walk again. That this is just temporary. But even more, I am thankful that He gave me this infirmity to show me how to be more compassionate to others that are hurting. And that He has truly shown me that through my weakness He is made strong.
I have always been pretty independent. I didn't realize until I had that stripped from me that it was in the way of my living for God. When you are independent you end up making decisions and doing things on your own because that is just the way that you are used to doing it. Never even to stop and consult God on the little things. The bible says "In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths." Well, I knew that, but I had totally missed out on the blessing of actually doing it in all things. As it stands I can barely stand or walk on my own. I am on crutches for the next 6 weeks, so there is not a whole lot I can do myself. I have been almost completely dependent on others to help me. But in this I have learned to just stop and ask for help from God in the little things. Like taking a shower, giving myself a shot, making phone calls, or other things that I just need to work out. I have seen that worrying truly isn't going to get anything done at all. That I just have to commit it to God and allow Him to work it out.
I have learned that faith is not doing all that you can do and allowing God to do the rest, but allowing God to go before me and do it all. That's what He wants anyway, right? I have realized that I am not capable at all of making things work out. I don't even know what's best for me. But when I just give it all to God. WOW. He works things out better than I could ever even hope to. In this last week I have seen miracle after miracle in my life because I have let Him have control and just do what He does best. Take care of me. It is so hard to let go of the control that we think that we have over our lives, but God is there waiting for us to give it to Him and when we do, WOW, what amazing things wait beyond that.
So, this Christmas is quite a bit different than any other Christmas. I'm not focusing on decorations, cooking, shopping, or any of the other worldly trappings. This Christmas my focus is on CHRIST and His mighty works. I am so thankful that the Lord saw fit to clip my wings this Christmas and take me THROUGH this valley.
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
"Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice." Psalms 51:8
For months now I have been in such severe pain and it got to the point that I actually lost my ability to walk without assistance from a cane. The biggest part of my battle was getting to a Dr. finding someone who would take me seriously and treat me. After much prayer and finally just asking God for a miracle, He came through. He immediately gave me a Dr. to see and upon the first visit to that Dr. I was made aware that I had actually been walking around with a broken hip. No, I have NO IDEA how that even happened. So I had to have an emergency surgery to stabilize my broken hip so that it can heal. But after it is all said and done I find myself with such a heart full of gratitude that the Lord allowed this to happen. I'm very thankful of course that I *will* be able to walk again. That this is just temporary. But even more, I am thankful that He gave me this infirmity to show me how to be more compassionate to others that are hurting. And that He has truly shown me that through my weakness He is made strong.
I have always been pretty independent. I didn't realize until I had that stripped from me that it was in the way of my living for God. When you are independent you end up making decisions and doing things on your own because that is just the way that you are used to doing it. Never even to stop and consult God on the little things. The bible says "In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths." Well, I knew that, but I had totally missed out on the blessing of actually doing it in all things. As it stands I can barely stand or walk on my own. I am on crutches for the next 6 weeks, so there is not a whole lot I can do myself. I have been almost completely dependent on others to help me. But in this I have learned to just stop and ask for help from God in the little things. Like taking a shower, giving myself a shot, making phone calls, or other things that I just need to work out. I have seen that worrying truly isn't going to get anything done at all. That I just have to commit it to God and allow Him to work it out.
I have learned that faith is not doing all that you can do and allowing God to do the rest, but allowing God to go before me and do it all. That's what He wants anyway, right? I have realized that I am not capable at all of making things work out. I don't even know what's best for me. But when I just give it all to God. WOW. He works things out better than I could ever even hope to. In this last week I have seen miracle after miracle in my life because I have let Him have control and just do what He does best. Take care of me. It is so hard to let go of the control that we think that we have over our lives, but God is there waiting for us to give it to Him and when we do, WOW, what amazing things wait beyond that.
So, this Christmas is quite a bit different than any other Christmas. I'm not focusing on decorations, cooking, shopping, or any of the other worldly trappings. This Christmas my focus is on CHRIST and His mighty works. I am so thankful that the Lord saw fit to clip my wings this Christmas and take me THROUGH this valley.
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
"Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice." Psalms 51:8
3 comments:
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shauna said...
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O.k., so I hadn't read this blog before we talked, but wow. It's so funny how we can learn the same lessons in such different ways. I'm not glad that you had to go through this, but I do believe that we can grow and learn even through tough experiences in our lives. You are blessing me with your attitude while going through this trial. Also, I have to say that I thank God for everyone who has stepped up to help you. What a blessing to have this christian family who will do anything they can to help out. I was blessed so much for the prayers that went up for me, as I know you are. I am looking forward to the day when you can walk without those crutches but until then, we can praise the Lord for his grace during our trials!
Love ya! -
December 19, 2009 at 1:29 PM
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Titus245 said...
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My goodness you have been thru it! I sure am glad you have stayed close to the Lord and are growing and learning to trust Him completely! What a blessing your post was to me! I forwarded it on to a couple ladies from church. We have all been praying for you and I know a couple ladies will really be encouraged by your testimony! Gina
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December 19, 2009 at 5:46 PM
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Amber_Keever said...
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I am so glad to see you're doing well and growing through this extremely difficult time in your life Jill. I know what you mean about wanting to be home but trusting God to teach me lessons through the separation. We'll continue praying for you and I know God is going to use you for something amazing :)
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December 20, 2009 at 9:36 AM
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3 comments:
O.k., so I hadn't read this blog before we talked, but wow. It's so funny how we can learn the same lessons in such different ways. I'm not glad that you had to go through this, but I do believe that we can grow and learn even through tough experiences in our lives. You are blessing me with your attitude while going through this trial. Also, I have to say that I thank God for everyone who has stepped up to help you. What a blessing to have this christian family who will do anything they can to help out. I was blessed so much for the prayers that went up for me, as I know you are. I am looking forward to the day when you can walk without those crutches but until then, we can praise the Lord for his grace during our trials!
Love ya!
My goodness you have been thru it! I sure am glad you have stayed close to the Lord and are growing and learning to trust Him completely! What a blessing your post was to me! I forwarded it on to a couple ladies from church. We have all been praying for you and I know a couple ladies will really be encouraged by your testimony! Gina
I am so glad to see you're doing well and growing through this extremely difficult time in your life Jill. I know what you mean about wanting to be home but trusting God to teach me lessons through the separation. We'll continue praying for you and I know God is going to use you for something amazing :)
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