Fast forward five years...... March 11, 2010. I awaken in a recovery room in Gainesville, Fl after having surgery to repair my hip that has broken a second time. Dr. Gibbs informs me gently that I have osteosarcoma. My first thoughts? Life is too short, I need to witness more and be about the Lord's business. Over the next year and a half I held tight to my faith and was hoping against hope. I trusted the Lord. Believed in His perfect will for my life, never truly knowing though whether or not His will for me would be life or death. My amputation was June 17, 2010. The valley just got wider and deeper. Would I be able to overcome this? Would I live? Would anything ever be normal again? The answer? With God ALL things are possible. There would just have to be a new type of normal. I wish that I would have allowed the Lord to use me more during this time of my life. Looking back, I wish I had done more. Most days though, my life was about survival. Just trying to make it through the day. There was one word that I held onto though.... THROUGH. My Pastor preached a message on December 6, 2009 titled "Yea, though I walk THROUGH the valley" taken from
Psalm 23:1-6
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever."
You can listen to that message here. I would strongly recommend doing so. If you don't need it now, you will.
God will never leave you nor forsake you. He always makes good on His promises too. Which brings me to July 27, 2011. My first three month check up. Everything was clean and clear. No cancer, ANYWHERE. Next to salvation I think this day has made the most profound impact on my life. My Jesus brought me so far. Through so much. I don't deserve it. Honestly I don't. But on this day I resolved to live, truly live every day of my life. To wake up and praise Him no matter what comes my way. To never complain again. Above all else, to thank Him everyday for this valley He allowed me to go through. My heart has never been more full. It is overflowing with gratitude and awe of His awesome power and love. I don't know how much longer I have here in this mortal body. Everyday is a gift though and I desire to treat it as such. These days the thing that fills my heart and mind the most is living for the Lord. I put my life, my heart, my hopes, my desires, wishes and dreams on the alter. I want to sacrifice everything for Him. There is no sacrifice to great. Anything that I could give is minor in comparison to the things He has done for me. I'm praying for guidance everyday and asking the Lord to show me how I can be used for His purposes. I hope that the rest of my life can be about serving and glorifying God. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm so excited.
Tonight I watched Soul Surfer and it has inspired me so deeply. Bethany Hamilton is an amazing woman and I thank God for her testimony and sweet spirit. There was one thing in the book and on the movie that her Dr. said to her and I want to share it with you..... "The things that you're going to have to learn to do differently is extensive. But the good news. Those things that you're not going to be able to do is small." Again, there is nothing impossible with God. I can do all things through Christ.
These days my day to day life is about God, being a mom, desiring to share my testimony and hoping to be a blessing to others. I go to the gym everyday. I'm trying to get in really good shape to gear up for getting my prosthetic leg. I'm out in the public a lot needless to say. A lot of people are curious and ask questions and stare. Sometimes it's really awkward and I'll be honest with you that sometimes I get a poor attitude about it. I quickly realized what an awful, sinful way that is to think and that by having a poor attitude I am missing out on a HUGE opportunity to share my testimony and glorify the Lord. I'm praying that the Lord will give me a sweet spirit and help me to use these opportunities for Him. A good friend of mine had this great idea that I should make up little cards/tracts that tell basic information about why I only have one leg and share the gospel as well. I think this is such a wonderful idea and she's going to help me put something together. I'd like to include a link to my blog, but I am also concerned that since I'll be passing these out to strangers I don't want to share personal things about Jarred, my family and other intimate details. I'm thinking that I'm going to have to either re-work my blog or start a second blog that I can share with strangers. I'm not really sure how to work this out because I don't exactly want to keep up with two blogs. I really do enjoy blogging (although lately I haven't been able to do it as often as I would like!) and I do it for myself more than anybody else. At the same time though I feel like it might be a good ministry to keep up for the soul purpose of telling my story and how God brought me THROUGH! So I'm just not sure how to mesh my desire to blog about my life and the desire to share it with strangers.
Taking all this into consideration I have some prayer requests:
1) Please pray for the Lord's will & leading in my future/life. Specifically that He will show me in what capacities I can best serve and open doors for opportunities to do so.
2) Please pray for me to have a sweet spirit and to always be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks in a way that will glorify the Lord not myself.
3) Please pray for us to be able to work up a great card/tract
4) Please pray that the Lord will show me what to do about my blog
I thank God for those of you that read this. For your prayers, love and concern over these past years. I pray that everyone that reads this will be blessed and that the Lord will touch you right this very minute. Most importantly, I pray that if you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus that you will come to know Him. If you would like to know more about Jesus and how you can have that relationship with Him, I'd love to tell you!
God bless!
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