God's Grace in the Storm

It has been incredibly difficult for me to sit down and blog lately. There has been so much going on over the past several weeks and frankly I have been on an emotional roller coaster most of the time. However, today I remembered that it is important to share my trials as well as my triumphs in this blogging world. More importantly to testify to God's goodness, grace, and mercy through this most recent storm.

I feel as if I have been in a whirlwind the past several months. When I found out back in September that my Nanny (my great-grandmother) was doing very poorly physically I knew that I wanted to be there for her. I am so grateful that I was able to do so in her last few months with us here. I am also grateful that it prepared me for the inevitable. My mother passed away when I was 19 and pregnant, and that I was not at all prepared for. I didn't allow myself time to grieve, and I was not a Christian at the time. It was a very difficult thing for me and caused a great deal of pain for several years. Thankfully that pain was healed when I came to Christ, accepted His forgiveness and in turn learned how to forgive.

My Nanny was an amazing and wonderful woman. I spent a good deal of my childhood with her and my great-grandpa, I called him Papoo. So very many of my cherished memories stem from being with them. There are so many wonderful things to be said about her character and life. I knew before she passed away that I would speak at the funeral. At the time the mere thought of it left me sobbing. So, I turned to the Lord and asked Him over and over what He would have me say about Nanny. After several days I felt Him impress upon me to read 1 Corinthians 13 and speak about how she loved others.

Here is a snippet of what I said at the funeral:

Since I was a little girl Nanny shared the gospel with me and prayed for me without ceasing. I was gloriously saved in September of 2005 by the precious blood of Jesus Christ. I am so very thankful that I was blessed to have a woman like Nanny in my life who always pointed me to Jesus and His saving grace. She lived every day of her saved life for the Lord and knew the importance of walking with Him and living and obedient life. I am also so very grateful for the sweet fellowship that we shared in Christ over the past three years.

Of all the memories that I shared with Nanny and all the precious time spent with her, the thing that stands out to me the most int he love that she had foe me and everyone else in her life. Because of Nanny's love for me I am able to have a better picture of how our heavenly Father loves us. I have always been so undeserving of her love and unworthy of it, but she gave it anyway just as Christ loved us and died for us while we were yet sinners. Her love was unconditional and she truly grasped one of the greatest concepts of the Christian life, loving others.

1 Corinthians 13
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.


It amazes me at times how God will speak to me and then I receive confirmation of what He told me. My Nanny had actually put on paper a detailed listing of how she wanted her funeral services to go. She thought of everything down to what to wear, what songs were to be sung, and who she wanted to preach the funeral. She also said that 1 Corinthians 13 was her favorite chapter, and she wanted it read. I didn't know that before hand. When I found out I knew that the Lord had truly spoke to my heart. WOW!! Yes, I serve a risen Savior!

When we got to the church the day of the funeral for the viewing an amazing calm and peace came over me unlike anything that I have ever experienced. I could feel God's presence, and His grace was MORE THAN SUFFICIENT for the day. His strength overwhelmed me. I still sit here amazed at how He enabled me to go through the motions of the day with hope and joy.

I do miss Nanny a lot, and I know that I always will. I am still having a hard time and get choked up quite often, but I am so glad that I know that I will see her again in Heaven one day. I am so glad that I am saved and know where I stand for eternity.

The purpose of my blog is to share my desire to commit myself to God with others. In this most recent trail I can see the rainbow and also know that I can lean on God's promise that His grace is sufficient and that He will be my strength when I am weak. The Lord has taught me that I need to focus more on loving others and being merciful just as he loves me and is merciful to me.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9