Waiting on the Lord

I had hoped today would bring answers and result in decisions being made. Apparently God has another idea in store. My Orthopedic Oncologist went out of town last night and was to call me today to discuss with me surgical options. Instead my pediatric oncologist and her Nurse Practitioner showed up to discuss the MRI findings with me. Apparently they were quite confusing. It doesn't appear that the tumor has shrunk at all. Although it doesn't seem as if it has shrunk it could quite possible be calcified and dead from all the chemo. It could also have swollen scar tissue around it that was damaged from the first surgery. There are a lot of "ifs" and almost no certainties at this time.

So, the plan is to have a bone scan tomorrow. I already had two xrays done today of my hip and Tuesday morning I will come back to have a PET scan of the area. From my understanding a PET scan will light up any active cancer/tumor cells. IF the tumor is indeed dead and just needs to be scooped out then it will not be "lit up." At this time with so much information needed my Dr's still cannot help me make the best decision and steer me in any general direction. However, once we have all the info that we need we can make an educated, informed decision and proceed. It may be that I need to do a couple of more rounds of chemo to further shrink the tumor before removing it. If that is the case then they will be administering two types of chemo that I have not yet had.

Needless to say no decisions will be made until Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. Generally I would be a nervous wreck over all of this uncertainty. Friends, I can tell you that I feel the Lord's peace like never before. I am at ease. THE Lord has given me peace about so many things in the last few days. Living, Dying, loosing my leg, and taking the time to make these decisions. The bottom line is that ONLY HE knows the outcome. The doctors cannot tell me with 100% certainty that they can cure me or what my best surgical chances for cure are. But God can cure me. I am reminded of Lazarus, and the woman with the issue of blood. I trust the Lord and whatever He is doing with me right now. It is a constant battle to stay in this place of trust, but I have resolved to wait on Him. Father knows best :)

He has continuously laid on my heart these verses the past few days:
"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." Psalm 27:14

"Our soul waiteth for the LORD: he is our help and our shield." Psalm 33:20

"Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass." Psalm 37:7

"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9