There are times in this life when you feel like your on a mountain top. Everything is good. Life is smooth and easy. Happy times. Times of pure joy. I've had so many of these times in the past four years (since I've been saved). I feel so blessed to have enjoyed so much. To have lived so fully. To have known what's it's like to be on the mountain top with God.
When the Dr. first told me I had cancer I was alone in the recovery room. After he spoke with me my mind raced back to the past and the regrets that I have because I was saved so late in life (when I was 26). Then my mind grazed over all the goodness that I have experienced because of being saved and living my life for the Lord. In those few seconds I determined not to ever think on the past again. I knew all I had was that day and each day following that the Lord grants me. I knew that I wanted to LIVE every day of my life that the Lord gave me and live it to the fullest for Him. I knew that I wanted to share His word, His work, and His love with all that I come in contact with. By myself, without any family or friends near, alone in that recovery room I knew that I was not alone at all, but that my Savior, my Redeemer, my Friend was right there with me. Comforting me, loving me, letting me know that I didn't HAVE to walk this road alone.
In the hospital I was so sure of these things. So confident that the Lord was there and I knew with all my heart that He was taking care of me. Taking care of things before I even knew I needed them. Then I came home. Then I started loosing my hair. Then the reality of living with cancer came. Then the realization that my life and everything is different presented it's self. And I took my eyes off of what I know to be true. I took my eyes off of the Lord's goodness. Like Peter when he walked on water to Jesus and took his eyes off of Him, I too sank because of my doubt.
Thankfully I serve a God that is good. A God that in spite of myself and my doubt He still reminds me that He is here. I just need to call on Him. He hasn't left me alone in this valley. I just have to reach out. I just have to keep my eyes set on Him. I just need to continue storing His word in my heart and holding to His love. The bible says "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39. So from that verse alone I know that cancer isn't getting in the way of God's love for me. The bible also says "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Romans 8:18. I can't imagine what that will be like. To have glory revealed in me? Wow, that's pretty amazing isn't it?!? I could go on and on with what the bible says about God's love for me and the fact that I don't have to travel this road alone. What a comfort that is. Knowing that when life gets tough, at it's worst, the Lord is there. Refining me and loving me.
I'll be honest, this is hard. It's not easy looking cancer in the face. This is surely a valley in my life. However, if God was good to me in the good times then He is surely good to me now. God hasn't changed. My circumstances in life have, but God will never change. It is His very nature to be good. For that I am thankful. Knowing that God is constant brings me peace. That is something I can rest in. He says "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30. Even though this road is hard all I have to do is come unto Him. He alone will be my source of peace, rest, love, and comfort. The valley may not be easy, but I know God is doing a work in me. I know that He is refining me. This is where my sanctification is taking place.
I'm so glad I'm saved. I can't even fathom facing this without the Lord.
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Tuesday, April 13, 2010
It's not an easy road.......
There are times in this life when you feel like your on a mountain top. Everything is good. Life is smooth and easy. Happy times. Times of pure joy. I've had so many of these times in the past four years (since I've been saved). I feel so blessed to have enjoyed so much. To have lived so fully. To have known what's it's like to be on the mountain top with God.
When the Dr. first told me I had cancer I was alone in the recovery room. After he spoke with me my mind raced back to the past and the regrets that I have because I was saved so late in life (when I was 26). Then my mind grazed over all the goodness that I have experienced because of being saved and living my life for the Lord. In those few seconds I determined not to ever think on the past again. I knew all I had was that day and each day following that the Lord grants me. I knew that I wanted to LIVE every day of my life that the Lord gave me and live it to the fullest for Him. I knew that I wanted to share His word, His work, and His love with all that I come in contact with. By myself, without any family or friends near, alone in that recovery room I knew that I was not alone at all, but that my Savior, my Redeemer, my Friend was right there with me. Comforting me, loving me, letting me know that I didn't HAVE to walk this road alone.
In the hospital I was so sure of these things. So confident that the Lord was there and I knew with all my heart that He was taking care of me. Taking care of things before I even knew I needed them. Then I came home. Then I started loosing my hair. Then the reality of living with cancer came. Then the realization that my life and everything is different presented it's self. And I took my eyes off of what I know to be true. I took my eyes off of the Lord's goodness. Like Peter when he walked on water to Jesus and took his eyes off of Him, I too sank because of my doubt.
Thankfully I serve a God that is good. A God that in spite of myself and my doubt He still reminds me that He is here. I just need to call on Him. He hasn't left me alone in this valley. I just have to reach out. I just have to keep my eyes set on Him. I just need to continue storing His word in my heart and holding to His love. The bible says "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39. So from that verse alone I know that cancer isn't getting in the way of God's love for me. The bible also says "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Romans 8:18. I can't imagine what that will be like. To have glory revealed in me? Wow, that's pretty amazing isn't it?!? I could go on and on with what the bible says about God's love for me and the fact that I don't have to travel this road alone. What a comfort that is. Knowing that when life gets tough, at it's worst, the Lord is there. Refining me and loving me.
I'll be honest, this is hard. It's not easy looking cancer in the face. This is surely a valley in my life. However, if God was good to me in the good times then He is surely good to me now. God hasn't changed. My circumstances in life have, but God will never change. It is His very nature to be good. For that I am thankful. Knowing that God is constant brings me peace. That is something I can rest in. He says "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30. Even though this road is hard all I have to do is come unto Him. He alone will be my source of peace, rest, love, and comfort. The valley may not be easy, but I know God is doing a work in me. I know that He is refining me. This is where my sanctification is taking place.
I'm so glad I'm saved. I can't even fathom facing this without the Lord.
When the Dr. first told me I had cancer I was alone in the recovery room. After he spoke with me my mind raced back to the past and the regrets that I have because I was saved so late in life (when I was 26). Then my mind grazed over all the goodness that I have experienced because of being saved and living my life for the Lord. In those few seconds I determined not to ever think on the past again. I knew all I had was that day and each day following that the Lord grants me. I knew that I wanted to LIVE every day of my life that the Lord gave me and live it to the fullest for Him. I knew that I wanted to share His word, His work, and His love with all that I come in contact with. By myself, without any family or friends near, alone in that recovery room I knew that I was not alone at all, but that my Savior, my Redeemer, my Friend was right there with me. Comforting me, loving me, letting me know that I didn't HAVE to walk this road alone.
In the hospital I was so sure of these things. So confident that the Lord was there and I knew with all my heart that He was taking care of me. Taking care of things before I even knew I needed them. Then I came home. Then I started loosing my hair. Then the reality of living with cancer came. Then the realization that my life and everything is different presented it's self. And I took my eyes off of what I know to be true. I took my eyes off of the Lord's goodness. Like Peter when he walked on water to Jesus and took his eyes off of Him, I too sank because of my doubt.
Thankfully I serve a God that is good. A God that in spite of myself and my doubt He still reminds me that He is here. I just need to call on Him. He hasn't left me alone in this valley. I just have to reach out. I just have to keep my eyes set on Him. I just need to continue storing His word in my heart and holding to His love. The bible says "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39. So from that verse alone I know that cancer isn't getting in the way of God's love for me. The bible also says "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Romans 8:18. I can't imagine what that will be like. To have glory revealed in me? Wow, that's pretty amazing isn't it?!? I could go on and on with what the bible says about God's love for me and the fact that I don't have to travel this road alone. What a comfort that is. Knowing that when life gets tough, at it's worst, the Lord is there. Refining me and loving me.
I'll be honest, this is hard. It's not easy looking cancer in the face. This is surely a valley in my life. However, if God was good to me in the good times then He is surely good to me now. God hasn't changed. My circumstances in life have, but God will never change. It is His very nature to be good. For that I am thankful. Knowing that God is constant brings me peace. That is something I can rest in. He says "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30. Even though this road is hard all I have to do is come unto Him. He alone will be my source of peace, rest, love, and comfort. The valley may not be easy, but I know God is doing a work in me. I know that He is refining me. This is where my sanctification is taking place.
I'm so glad I'm saved. I can't even fathom facing this without the Lord.
3 comments:
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Unknown said...
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Your positive is an encouragement to me! Praying for you! Abbie
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April 13, 2010 at 1:56 PM
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Titus245 said...
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Thank you so very much for your continuous testimony in front of us all! How thrilling to see God work in you and thru you at this difficult time in your life. You are such an inspiration! Keep it up!
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April 13, 2010 at 7:26 PM
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Anonymous said...
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Jill, when we were growing up I'm sure most of us heard these words, "Pretty is as pretty does."
The beauty you radiate is like no other! You truly are a trophy of HIS grace! Watching you has made the Bible come alive as you are living the precepts of HIS promises. I've NEVER seen you more beautiful! I wanted to share these words from a song that was in a missionary letter as I updated yesterday: "God said you're gonna make it. The waves they try with fierce emotion, the winds cry; your vessel's broken, your heart sinks you can't take any more. Fear says you'll never reach the shore. Stand fast; you have Jesus on board-remember no storm ever troubled our Lord. No one knows what life's gonna bring but you're safe--you're a child of the King! CHORUS: God said you're gonna make it God said you're gonna make it God said you're gonna make it--you're gonna make it through the raging storm. Don't worry over thunder; you're not going under. God said you're gonna make it--you're gonna make it cause the Master's on board!
My faith has been strengthened by your testimony! I love you! -
April 15, 2010 at 12:35 PM
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3 comments:
Your positive is an encouragement to me! Praying for you! Abbie
Thank you so very much for your continuous testimony in front of us all! How thrilling to see God work in you and thru you at this difficult time in your life. You are such an inspiration! Keep it up!
Jill, when we were growing up I'm sure most of us heard these words, "Pretty is as pretty does."
The beauty you radiate is like no other! You truly are a trophy of HIS grace! Watching you has made the Bible come alive as you are living the precepts of HIS promises. I've NEVER seen you more beautiful! I wanted to share these words from a song that was in a missionary letter as I updated yesterday: "God said you're gonna make it. The waves they try with fierce emotion, the winds cry; your vessel's broken, your heart sinks you can't take any more. Fear says you'll never reach the shore. Stand fast; you have Jesus on board-remember no storm ever troubled our Lord. No one knows what life's gonna bring but you're safe--you're a child of the King! CHORUS: God said you're gonna make it God said you're gonna make it God said you're gonna make it--you're gonna make it through the raging storm. Don't worry over thunder; you're not going under. God said you're gonna make it--you're gonna make it cause the Master's on board!
My faith has been strengthened by your testimony! I love you!
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