Getting Setteleted in @ Home.....

I was discharged from Shands on Wednesday and sent home for a few weeks before the next chemo treatment. I have to say that the very first day home was really hard. It was the day when reality came running and hit me smack in the face. It was hard. Very Hard. Very Scary. It's not like before I left when I had energy to do what needed to be done just not the abilities to actually do them. My time in the hospital was such a whirlwind that you can't even imagine. I mean basically I went to the ER in Destin and before I knew it was transported in the wee hours of the night to Gainsville by Ambulance. I've had to recap many times everything that happened to others just to make sure that I understand what's going on. So I think that I have gotten it all figured out now and all the pieces put together. I have Cancer. Osteosarcoma to exact. *sigh*

The good news is that I serve a God who is bigger that this little cancer. He is bigger than any disease that comes my way and He is ready to bear this burden for me. So, as hard as it is I'm constantly giving it to him. I've never felt more the need to take up my cross and follow daily. When I think of the Lord and all he has done in my life I know that He can get me through this as well. This may be a little bigger and a little harder to endure. This may be a rare cancer for someone my age, but you know what I say to that??? It just gives God the ability to do a mightier work and astound the medical field. I want this battle to be of and for the Lord. I want to commit myself daily to him and allow Him to transform me and work in me in such a real way that was never possible before. Am I scared? Yes, I'm terrified. Is this going to be hard? Yes, it is. But I know that my God is bigger than all of this and that He has given me this disease for either my good or His glory.

The chemo treatments are not so bad at first, but a couple days later they just take every ounce of my energy. I dislike that the most. I feel completely wiped out and no matter how much I sleep I'm still just exhausted. My Dr. said that I will loose my hair, but I say hey, maybe we'll finally figure out what my natural color is, lol. Also my mom's knitting group are making me a bunch of cute little caps. I'm trying to come up with a top 10 list for having no hair. I'll let you know once I do. If you have any suggestions let me know :)

I've been thinking so much about how the Lord has worked in my life since I've been saved. How he brought me here to Niceville, how He put me in a wonderful loving church that truly exemplifies the meaning of church family, how He has provided for me over and over again. God put me here in this place for this time. I just hope that I can honor and glorify Him throughout this fight and remember no matter how bad things may get physically that God still loves me and this is all part of His plan.

Next post I'll tell you all about Nutrition's fight against cancer and what I am (with the pushing of many loved ones) doing to boost my immune system.